You know what's very satisfying? surprising your self. Do things that you've never think you can do, exceed your expectation, do what you like, and like what you do. Even though things get in your way, stress and tiredness limits you. Feel and fill your life fully with meanings and realizing. Have you ever felt that way? like you look at this world from a high point, seeing what people do, things they're going through, sometimes it brings a smile from your heart, a happy or a merit that you sent them, glad for other's fortunate. It's a sheer joy, for others... and for yourself experiencing that. :)
This week is more of a stair for me, a step that I am taking and pass that last stair, keeping what I've learnt from last step. Things are getting real, more a mindful life I have, being aware of what's happening around.... since I learnt how to read people, how they think and how they will think of myself. This world is truly full of observes and learn.
Over last week, I've manage to assemble a team, a team called publicity. As a director, I see things differently. Reflecting my self, ( as in the exco training from SA), a authoritarian and a impoverish, both to get things done but baring in mind the relationship of others with me. In a short period, I've managed to arrange a talk with a sales engineer, produced a bunting delivering by myself, and hardest of all is having a team together to do their works and rush the dateline.
The most satisfying day that I will missed is yesterday and today. Starting from yesterday morning, the first task is, making announcements of my talks in a 155 students class, and then, I rushed to SA circle to set up Thailand Relief Fund booth, and then to go to Penny for the souvenir preparation. During lunch time, dealt with the old aged bill of my sweater purchase together with another 2 person sweater that I have to confirm with. Right before the talk, I have to entertain with that external speaker and a lecture, I felt like a business man D: after that talk, There's another talk to manage, IChemE registration in TCR1. Having that prepared and carried out is a tough deal. AND THEN, I have to prepare myself before I went to a dharma talk as the MC. Turns out a very inspiring and humorous talk. :) A long day, ended.
Progressive Cavity Pump Talk
IChemE Registration
The Way To Freedom by Uncle Vijaya :)
Today came, same thing, booth setting up and of course classes. And then booth duty the whole day. It's fun though, meeting and connecting with people. A big step I've made today is, I gave my name to Music Society's choir group, why is that, volunteering my self as a choir beatboxer!! haha, that's a big step for me, coz that's what i like, that's what I dream for. Hope that choir team accept me though. :)
That it, stepping up a stair. Targeting a date of 5/11/2011. A special day where I should let go. in fact, it's the birthday of sutien :) thanks for my housemates. This house, do really feels like a home. Not because the design of it. It's the characters it built for me. We cooked and have dinner like a family, we laughed like one, we behave like one. Thank You. For that support from them, I will take this step. To let go, to stop sulking, Thank You. It may not be my birthday it's sutien, but I would like to make a wish onward this day, 5/11/2011. I think I've made it, just like how you guys supported, like how you guys set it. So I wish to give me a chance to give back. To all my friends, give me a chance to LOVE you. I may often seems awkward and weird, but bare with me, let me give my pouring-out love. It maybe a way that's hard to accept or get use to, but, I'll have to put my love somewhere, my love that pumped, was cut off and now it's pouring, give me a subject or a space to put them will ya? Thank you, housemates and friends. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Yves Klein, Harry Shunk, Janos Kender - Leap into the Void, 1960
痛而不言是一种智慧，笑而不语是一种豁达。 
Love can be a new wonderland that you would want to be in it forever, love can be a haunted place that you wishes to death that you'll forget. Love is all on you, love is new when you're getting into one, love is old when you're just came out of it. It's all on you. I see people acting the way they do, feeling the way they feel, i laughed, smuggly at them. Because, what i see, love is old, dream of the damned, complete utter bullshit. I envy them, who can still enjoy that feeling, enjoy being silly and see no problem in it. Hope they'll appreciate it, appreciate the period, the process, the all of it. Before ending up suffering every single night like me, Before seeing what i see... 
有时候，心会没来由的疼一下，好像被针扎了似的，以为是错觉，会瞬间即逝，可下一次还会疼，完全没规律；是欺骗自己，也许是不愿记起，就在心的那个角落里，有血在滴，不能痊愈；当孤独来袭，我只能逃离，向远方行走，至死方休。逃避现实...
