Christmas state of mind

Once in a year, christmas. I am not gonna spending this year's meaninglessly. Not necessarily have to get crazy in the street spraying fake snow or being in the club grinding, being with your closed one and really have a "Silent Night" is what supposed to be, haha, that's what i've been telling myself, for a good reason not going out doing something crazy, i would love that actually. XD

Went to Penang, a place full of chinese temples and asian food, but still went into the heart of main reason of Christmas.

First thing that you'll always experienced when you had a homestay at your friends house is, their parents will surely provide you 24-hours of full stomach. Eat, travel, eat, travel, and rest is the last thing me myself would prefer, lol.

First thing after a long bus ride reaching there, is surely, EAT, Hawker stalls can always provide you multiple choices of food and all you can eat in reasonable price. The next day's traveling with the tour guiding of Uncle Looi, first we went for dimsum as breakfast. Any dimsum that is from outside of kelantan is surely better, i can tell you that. lol.

Then we went to a temple, a temple that has a special feature that i've ever heard of, was in an awe when I reached there. It is known as Snake Temple (Hock Hin Keong), it was said that every full and half moon in lunar calendar (初一，十五) snakes will find their way to "hang out" at this temple and go away after that. Sounds magical isn't it? =D What was in my mind is that, "are they gonna appear in every bushes or plants in the temple?!" lol, was in caution every now and then when I passed by any plant life, avoiding any snake ambush when they just hang in any tree. But surely, it was said that without you threatening them, they won't attack you anyhow.

Then we went to a buddhist temple, named Mahindrama Buddhist Temple. Before going there, we were asked to buy 2 pack of milk per person. "Why is that?" was the first thing that came to my mind. It was said that we are going to pray well for our coming soon exam by leaving a pack of milk there when praying and another one is brought back to drink, and leaving a letter of wish in the temple. The temple is well known for students to pray well for their studies. This also brings me awe like that snake temple. The idea of praying with milk is very unique indeed. And also, the structures and buildings of the two temples are beautiful and colorful.

Which means.... photo shooting frenzy! lol, love the colors. Very into photo shooting recently, it really gives me the satisfaction and opportunity to appreciate more on every details in the surrounding of life.

Also watched the movie Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011). Holmes is still ingenious like the last one. Was amazed by his intelligent. Then after that, we had durians, different species of them, woots. And for dinner, seafood meal! damn~ fresh and delicious. Nothing beats fresh oyster and nice clamps.

Final place of interest was, St. Anne Church. This is the one places, that fits the Christmas season, back to the  reason of Christmas. The church is huge and was said that the buildings foundation all was imported from italy, the italy design structure giving it the feel of actually being in italy.

Oh, we also went to 2 other places that are actually similar in one thing, up close with animals. Snake garden in the snake temple and Butterfly farm in Balik Pulau. For the first time my man!, I held a big badass scorpion on my hand. It was freakin excited, after hearing the garden tour guider explaining how deadly a scorpion is, and you have it on your palm after that. lol.

While in the snake farm, I touch through a big ass snake from head to tail, it is said that this act will bring you a whole year of fortune. lol. Also did the same on a King cobra, the highly venomous snake. All these are first time for me, and surely you know how all the first times bring what kind of feelings to you. XD

and Also, another beautiful place we visit early in the morning to have a walk at is Tasik Mengkuang. A place full with green valley, cat tail grasses, and a lake. A food to the eyes indeed.

Thus these end the Christmas travel with its meaning and came back to study by train traveling.

Dear Santa

Santa my man!

You know my bro Buddha, i'm always talking to him, praying to him. So on this Christmas, let me talk to you, on your day man. lol.

I wish all my friends and family are well and happy. You know, like, beside this magical white snow season and many found warmth with their love ones, there are still people who are in need of care. Flood in Philippines and all..  Sickness and unfortunate is everywhere.

So take real care, of all my friends.. May all be well and happy.

2012 is coming soon, so let us do chanting every now and then, to bring peace to the world, and hope to have a better next year. as 2012 is the year of the water dragon, it is said that there might be a lot of natural disaster going to happen, therefore, we would like to pray for a peaceful and harmony 2012.

Tough things happened in this passed year, they were here as challenges. Hope 2012 will be better for all. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


Metta


p/s:  For you, may health always be with you.
       and while for you, get well soon
       =)

幸福扑满 - （第三篇）终

用对方想要的方式去爱，而不是用自己习惯的方式去勉强对方接受。你若使用不对的牦，当然耕不到对方的心田。

秋天来了，枝头的树叶随风飘落。他抱着擦拭干净的扑满，想起在巴士上和火车站那，转身仰望天空，叹了口起，忍着泪的沉重脚步。

在放手前，想抓多紧就抓多紧。

[其实，从铜板在扑满里撞击的沉重声响，我觉醒了。]

遗憾？后悔？经历过的，他才明白在爱情中付出的方式。


“真爱也有现实面，不是谁情愿，就能够解决。拼命想着的事，未必带来感动。
才发现爱 不代表一切 再真心 也会被阻绝。少浪漫一点。再伤 再累 痛死都不愿 怪谁，
要能把每段痴情苦恋 在此刻排列面前，也能感觉不埋怨 只有怀念。” - 歌词

○ 他学到的是 
爱人，或被爱，都没有相爱来得好。当你对一个人不停的付出，即使动机上完全不求回报，时间一久也总会有心力交碎的时候。而重复的，一成不变的付出方式，不仅会让自己觉得疲倦，也会令对方习以为常。

爱，要用行动表达出来。光是默默耕耘，绝对是不够的。你使用的牦，若耕不到对方的心田，怎么能够有具体的收获？

但相对地，爱也不是一味地委屈自己，迎合对方。像些事情，应该提出来讨论，协调出彼此都愿意妥协的方式，不是一个人决定两个人的爱情。


伤过的心，碎过的梦，都将因为割舍之后的新生，有了意义不凡的成长。


恍然大悟的他，看着桌上这一个扑满，有了很棒的想法：找个地方，把它打碎，将里面的零钱取出来，帮助更多人得到幸福。他曾经付出的爱，因此而得到一种升华，一种延展，不会因为她一个人决定不再继续通行于感情的路上而终止。

我想，扑满在被摔破的那一瞬间，得到 [宁为玉碎；不为瓦全] 的至高价值。

对相互爱过，但最终不能相守的情人来说，成全对方得到幸福，只是最好的结局之一。另一个更好的结局是：帮助其它的人得到幸福。


得到幸福，拥有圆满，还要懂得分享，才不会积少成多后，变成自己和别人的负担。

p.s:/ 故事都有个篇尾曲，我想，听听这首还不错吧。爱，本是一种学习，希望“他”不要永远《学不会》

终。。。

幸福扑满 - (第二篇)

没有吵架的爱情，不代表就一定沟通良好。等他学会表达，等她知道他爱她，爱的感觉却已经不存在了。



随着相爱日子的增加，扑满里的铜板越来越多，铜板撞击的声响也从清脆变得厚重。

接着，铜板几乎占据扑满所有的空间，连摇晃都变得困难。

他拿起来摇一摇，深沉的想：[就像爱情，越来越爱得不轻松。]

种种事情的预兆，发现，感觉，猜测，令他很紧张，却束手无策。他重来没那么害怕，第一次害怕自己身边的东西将离去。

爱情对他来说，虽然很美，但自然流畅。他的不完美主义，受到了“现实”这家伙和[第三者]这回事给动摇了。

他并不知道，她渴望有点波涛汹涌的冒险。像他这样少点上进心，不果段成熟的男人，没给她“值得欣赏”的感觉。

信心没了，配不上他爱的人，那种感觉，给了他的人生一道阴影和裂痕，但也给他一个奋斗和坚强的理由。

没有吵架的爱情，不代表就一定沟通良好。从那一段猜疑和困惑的日子后，个性乐观的他也到了谷底，已经能感受到彼此渐行渐远的距离。

这段感情，走到无疾而终，双方都觉得意外，但也没说明。她变得比较忙，他也不巧的感觉累，约会次数明显变少，仿佛很有默契地告知对方：[不如彼此都静一静，想一想吧！]

过了那段日子，分手之前，他们才学会之前所缺乏的沟通和彼此的弱点。

他说：[谢谢你，让我知道你也曾经爱过我。但我始终不明白，你为什么都不肯表达，让我爱得好累。]


等她学会了表达，等他知道她爱他，爱的感觉却已经不存在了。只剩下这个沉重的扑满，诉说着幸福曾经造访。。。

继续。。。

幸福扑满 - (第一篇)

有扑满的人，才是最幸福的。扑满，不只可以用来存钱，也可以同时把对未来美好的想像放进去。


大学周末打扫时，他从书架顶层一排书册的背后，找到这一个有点风尘仆仆的瓶罐扑满，想起那一段逝去的感情。他沿着扑满的边缘小心翼翼的擦拭干净之后，脑海浮现出女孩纯真的笑容。

那年冷风吹习的夏日晚上，他们手牵着手，经过一家欧式餐厅。

她说：[看看菜单，就吃你想吃的蓝芝士披薩吧。]


在此之前，一直没机会跟她一起吃他最喜欢的芝士。原因是她拒吃任何乳酪食物。向来迁就她的好恶贪玩，他甚至不敢告诉她自己最喜欢芝士。

难得的机会，他们走入餐厅，点了披薩意大利面，并且接受服务人员的建议，另加一点零钱，点了杯红酒。远处正表演的喷火秀，餐桌上的异国食物，配上暗黄的灯和红砖式的墙壁，扑满的零钱花尽在这桌最后晚餐了。。。

她常欢天喜地的说着她旅游的梦想故事，脸上总冲满喜悦的计划起他们的旅游目的地，提醒双方爱情的甜蜜。他并没有可以告诉她，自己常常投钱进扑满，以一种许愿的心情，期望这段感情幸福长久。

每一次，当她起了玩心，想起了旅行，就会很开心的说：[我们该去那里玩啊？可以去。。。]

不善表达的他，听完之后心里很高兴，但也只是笑笑而已。

继续。。。

Ricocheted

A List of Thinking:

time heals
the sunrise is a constant
salt water stings
i am worth it
driving calms
the music will never end
books finish
(sometimes happily)
the birds always sing
locked doors can be unlocked
trees produce oxygen
i produce carbon dioxide
stars die all the time
the sun burns
dream big

love hard

live life

Always Will Be

祝，永远幸福，快乐。

荣

p/s: 

Wake me up, when November ends

November ends, here come the end, the end where when the past months are at the bottom of a cliff, you're wishing to see a slight glimpse of better hope as an ending. "Wakes me up, when November end"... I should be fully awoke right now, but i still see the break-of-dawn color, the bright light doesn't as close that i should be at. That's when I'm sure, santa is not around this year, but Christmas is still... magical.

December, please be better. Don't give me anymore disappointments, I've had enough, emotionally tired more that anything. Please at least give me a pleasant ending, stop bullying this stupid me.

2012 coming soon. Have you ever wonder, if 2012 is exactly like predicted, the end of the world, what would you do? If 2012 is what's described, will this month be an appropriate time to start to think how you would end it?

 If you knew that you were going to lose your leg tomorrow, would you sit on the couch and cry about it, or would you run and jump and do some awesome air kicks while you still could?

再見 黑白老照片 回憶電影院 埋進地面

晚安 底片和唱片 沉浮在浪間 就像詩篇

p/s: From a complete different topic, Speaking about last resort, I get this idea from the media that girl always like to hear, where a guy gets up from a dinning chair and gets down on one knee, holding a bouquet, breathing and trembling in a romantic atmosphere, seeing and hearing the sparkles and the jubilant sound of fireworks and a candle light dinner table, asking the big words: " Would you marry me be my back-up wive?" 

D= *disc jam sound*, a back-up wive?

So to paraphrase what it means to make The Ted & Robin Pact, you and somebody special decide that if both of you turn 40 and are still single, then you get together and avoid loneliness.  Of course, it is still within this definition to deviate away from the exact guidelines. Such as... one should not be like super fat of something like that. LOL. right?

Leap into the Void

Yves Klein, Harry Shunk, Janos Kender - Leap into the Void, 1960

 The leap into the void is sometimes read as a Buddhist phrase about enlightenment, about embracing emptiness that is not lack as it seems to westerners, but letting go of the finite and material, embracing limitlessness, transcendence, freedom, enlightenment. “Come with me into the void!’ wrote Klein, “You who like me, dream / of that wonderful void / That absolute love…”

—Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

淋雨

不知哪来的想法，我猜，寻找爱情，也许是自私的一件事。但那传说中的缘分，故必是宇宙所安排。往往很多人都想找个伴，绝急想着寻找爱，所谓的desperate。不是我造作，而是我观察周遭人事物，而得来的“纯粹个人看法”。绝急想着寻找爱，只为满足自己的空虚，甜蜜自己生活，不就是都为了自己？

痛而不言是一种智慧，笑而不语是一种豁达。




担负重任，忍痛舍爱，在离开之前，有多紧就捉多紧，然后抬头望前，为大局着想。这样，是不是比较不自私，成熟呢？

爱，那么辛苦，那么迷茫，没有黑白分明的极线，人还是会傻傻追求，就像淋雨，即使感冒了，还盼望淋过一次。

人生百味，浓缩到最后，就是一个“淡”字。

人常说，爱情是自私的。亲生经历，观看人生后，领悟到的，更多。

Reality

"Love is old, Love is new,

Love is all, Love is you"

Love can be a new wonderland that you would want to be in it forever, love can be a haunted place that you wishes to death that you'll forget. Love is all on you, love is new when you're getting into one, love is old when you're just came out of it. It's all on you. I see people acting the way they do, feeling the way they feel, i laughed, smuggly at them. Because, what i see, love is old, dream of the damned, complete utter bullshit. I envy them, who can still enjoy that feeling, enjoy being silly and see no problem in it. Hope they'll appreciate it, appreciate the period, the process, the all of it. Before ending up suffering every single night like me, Before seeing what i see... 

笑得最灿烂，哭得最透彻，想得最深切 D:

痛而不言是一种智慧，笑而不语是一种豁达。 

有时候，心会没来由的疼一下，好像被针扎了似的，以为是错觉，会瞬间即逝，可下一次还会疼，完全没规律；是欺骗自己，也许是不愿记起，就在心的那个角落里，有血在滴，不能痊愈；当孤独来袭，我只能逃离，向远方行走，至死方休。逃避现实...

我发现，自己不该去否定过去。就算曾经有过痛苦和失败，可正因为它们的存在，才有了站在这里微笑的我，想到这里，我就觉得没有任何遗憾。

其实，我很累了，习惯假装坚强，习惯了一个人面对所有，

我可以让自己很快乐很快乐，可是却找不到快乐的源头，只是傻笑...

人生百味，浓缩到最后，就是一个“淡”字。

1st day of autumn - The new beginning

Scenes from 500 days of summer, "1st day of autumn - The new beginning". 5/11/2011 is a beginning :) 

You can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... There are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now. 

When summer's gone, there's always autumn.


p/s: watch this to understand

Taking Steps

You know what's very satisfying? surprising your self. Do things that you've never think you can do, exceed your expectation, do what you like, and like what you do. Even though things get in your way, stress and tiredness limits you. Feel and fill your life fully with meanings and realizing. Have you ever felt that way? like you look at this world from a high point, seeing what people do, things they're going through, sometimes it brings a smile from your heart, a happy or a merit that you sent them, glad for other's fortunate. It's a sheer joy, for others... and for yourself experiencing that. :)


This week is more of a stair for me, a step that I am taking and pass that last stair, keeping what I've learnt from last step. Things are getting real, more a mindful life I have, being aware of what's happening around.... since I learnt how to read people, how they think and how they will think of myself. This world is truly full of observes and learn.

Over last week, I've manage to assemble a team, a team called publicity. As a director, I see things differently. Reflecting my self, ( as in the exco training from SA), a authoritarian and a impoverish, both to get things done but baring in mind the relationship of others with me. In a short period, I've managed to arrange a talk with a sales engineer, produced a bunting delivering by myself, and hardest of all is having a team together to do their works and rush the dateline.

The most satisfying day that I will missed is yesterday and today. Starting from yesterday morning, the first task is, making announcements of my talks in a 155 students class, and then, I rushed to SA circle to set up Thailand Relief Fund booth, and then to go to Penny for the souvenir preparation. During lunch time, dealt with the old aged bill of my sweater purchase together with another 2 person sweater that I have to confirm with. Right before the talk, I have to entertain with that external speaker and a lecture, I felt like a business man D: after that talk, There's another talk to manage, IChemE registration in TCR1. Having that prepared and carried out is a tough deal. AND THEN, I have to prepare myself before I went to a dharma talk as the MC. Turns out a very inspiring and humorous talk. :) A long day, ended.

Progressive Cavity Pump Talk

 IChemE Registration

The Way To Freedom by Uncle Vijaya :)

Today came, same thing, booth setting up and of course classes. And then booth duty the whole day. It's fun though, meeting and connecting with people. A big step I've made today is, I gave my name to Music Society's choir group, why is that, volunteering my self as a choir beatboxer!! haha, that's a big step for me, coz that's what i like, that's what I dream for. Hope that choir team accept me though. :)

That it, stepping up a stair. Targeting a date of 5/11/2011. A special day where I should let go. in fact, it's the birthday of sutien :) thanks for my housemates. This house, do really feels like a home. Not because the design of it. It's the characters it built for me. We cooked and have dinner like a family, we laughed like one, we behave like one. Thank You. For that support from them, I will take this step. To let go, to stop sulking, Thank You. It may not be my birthday it's sutien, but I would like to make a wish onward this day, 5/11/2011. I think I've made it, just like how you guys supported, like how you guys set it. So I wish to give me a chance to give back. To all my friends, give me a chance to LOVE you. I may often seems awkward and weird, but bare with me, let me give my pouring-out love. It maybe a way that's hard to accept or get use to, but, I'll have to put my love somewhere, my love that pumped, was cut off and now it's pouring, give me a subject or a space to put them will ya? Thank you, housemates and friends. Tomorrow will be a better day.

The one who takes the hit and entertains you

徒勞無功

"In the night I heart them talk, the coldest story ever told. Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul, to a woman so heartless..."

That how Kanye look at it. LOL

My mind is currently a bad place to be at, with complicated troubles, problems, worries, and memories. That's pretty much what's not in a little kids life. 

大家都说我很幼稚，但幸好我比大家想像的都还要幼稚

Childish, depends how you look at it, doesn't mean immature. It maybe mean when you see how fucked up the world, when you see what reality is, you still can absorb it, smile and be yourself. Same with making a fool of yourself, being the one who give, give too much of a damn sometimes, and still give a chance to this world, a chance to give back. 

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself." - Charlie

Keep fighting though, keep learning in all aspect, keep improving, keep full living, regardless the world， 走上理想王道,不忘记过程。

Sorry for being that way that night though. Embarrassed. Something about Gemini that we should know, showing the weak and trembling side is a shame, a last thing they would bring it out. In this case, it just burst out of tough holding and reason of a worst thing that would happened. Ignorance is what's would be expected, but, it's not about the movie, tell you that. And it's not just a story.

Anyways, it gives impact.

人生就是不停的戰鬥，就從為妳受罰開始  :)

p/s: it's not the movie that i found sad, it's the sad commentary i saw is any life.

我会继续幼稚下去。

Take one :)

Imperfect